Recuerdos de mi subconsciente

English edition, for the woman of mydream

Memories from my uconscious

Today is a day to drown one in a sea of sadness, it rains heavily outside ,it is a very sad day, gray,without no consistency.
In an attempt to escape from my own thoughts I seek refuge in a short walk along the beach listening music with my mp3 ... I realized how much I need to talk, discuss, collapsing my neurons to get information and stop that stupid existential questions.

Upon returning home I find work in the kitchen, inventing strange foods that I will not even eat them ... and in a moment of deep thought I have ventured into the new cosmological theory known as "string theory". ... is something new in the firmament of relativistic physics, it seems that everything fits to perfection except the failure to explain the weakness of gravity ... well, I will not get into this, is too complicated for display in the blog .... but ....
... I emerged a new theory linked with string theory: and if all the matter around us is the fruit of our spiritual states? without actually we are the gods that shape our universe in accordance with our mood? ... and if we are the gods and still do not know?
And beginning with this I finish thinking again in you Debb you're my greatest existential question, you're the only one in 14 or 15 years has come to reopen my gut getting in the depths of my soul ..... and I wonder:
Why you?
I'm very analytical and cerebral and almost all the time and as a consequence nothing got me by unsuspecting .Always I stand with one move ahead of events, this should not have happened,i´ve tryed running from your way,to go away, I felt what was coming, you made me prisoner of your reality, captivating all my senses, all my fellings.
I guess from a position of observer will say that I see I'm obsessed, I've never been obsessed with something that simply i'm not, I do not like chasing illusions and do not like to violate the privacy of anyone ....... . I'm just deeply in love with a woman that i´ve thought was my soul mate.
Why did you hade to apear in my reality? ...
You never will understand the magnitude and the purity of my soul, I've come to feel for you.
It's a rainy day, haunted, as my soul is a day of reflection without no answers, is a day in which once again have to find the exit to the reality of my material universe. It's another day in which I suppress in my subconscious passion and love accumulated all these years. It is a day in which I transform my emotions into memories of my subconscious. It is the day which again I can not understand whay it had to be you?
It is a day of memoies, the memories of a inexistent love,a day of another dimension of love.
Whay you could not understand that i´m in love at you? Because you had never felt it.... you just had play with me i guess.
I´ve liked you so much Debb, everything of you , your soul, yours thoughts, your passion, your kisses, your body, your voice.... damn how much i would like to heard again your voice princess, you gave me for a short moment a existencial meaning for my life, you had been my personal reason to being, to exist, to fight ... and then suddeley you had vaporized . And one of my biggest questions of mi life it would be: way? Enlight me please, give the chanse to learn, to get stronger in the future, to avoid suferings , to avoid to let happening again , enlight me Debb. I think that you could be honest with me and let me know that i was just a play for you.... it was much easyer if you told me that i´m not your type and nothing ellse.At least you can enligth me.


Hoy es un dia como para ahogarse uno en un mar de tristezas, afuera llueve con intensidadm un dia bastante triste, gris , sin consistencia.
En un intento de evadir de mis proprios pensamientos me busque refugio en un corto paseo por la playa acompañado de mi mp3... me he dado cuenta de lo mucho que necesito hablar, conversar, colapsar mis neuronas con informacion y dejar de ponerme preguntas existenciales estupidas.

Al volver en casa me he buscado una ocupacion en la cocina, inventando comidas raras que nisiquiera yo me las como...y en un momento de pensamientos profundos me he adentrado en la nueva teoria cosmologica conocida como "La teoria de las cuerdas"....es algo nuevo en el firmamento de la fisica relativista,parece que todo encaja la perfeccion excepto la imposibilidad de explicar la debilidad de la gravedad...bueno , no me voy a adentra en esto , es demasiado complicado para exponerlo en el blog ....pero....

... me surgio una nueva teoria enlazada con la Teoria de las cuerdas: y si toda la materia que nos rodea es el fructo de nuestros estados de espiritos? y sin en realidad nosotros somos los dioses que moldeamos nuestro universo en funccion de nuestros estado de animos?... y si somos nosotros los dioses y aun no lo sabemos?

Y comenzando con esto he acabado pensando de nuevo en ti Debb, eres mi mayor pregunta existencial, eres la unica en 14 o 15 años que ha llegad a abrir de nuevo mis tripas llegando en lo mas hondo de mi alma.....y me pregunto:
por que tu?

Soy muy analitico y cerebral y como consequencia casi nada me coje por desprevenido, simpre me situo con una movida adelantando los acontecimientos, esto no debia haberme pasado, intente correr de tu camino, desaparecer, he sentido lo que se acercaba, tu me has echo prisoniero de tu realidad, cautivando todo mis sentidos.
Supongo que desde una posicion de observador el que me observe dira que estoy obsesionado,nunca he estado obsesionado con algo por que simplemente no soy persuativo, no me gusta perseguir ilusiones y tampoco me gusta violar la intimidad de nadie........ solo estoy profundamente enamorado de una mujer a la que pensaba que era mi alma gemela.

Por que has tenido que aparecer de la nada atormentando mi realidad?...
Tu nunca comprenderas la magnitud y la pureza de mi alma, lo que he llegado a sentir por ti.

Es un dia lluvioso, atormentado , como mi alma, es un dia de reflexiones sin respuestas, es un dia en el cual una vez mas tendre que buscar la salida hacia la realidad de mi universo material. Es un dia mas en el cual debo reprimir en mi subconsciente la pasion y el amor acumulados en todos estos años. Es un dia en el cual transformo mis emociones en recuerdos de mi subconsciente. Es el dia en el cual otra vez mas no puedo comprender por que tu?